Psychology is all about what we believe and what we believe is who we are. We can be optimistic and think “it will never happen to us”; or pessimistic and expect the worse. It is healthier to be somewhere in between. Research in Holland suggested that stress produces the hormone cortisol and that in turn weakens our immune system and can make us ill. The hormone Oxytocin is described as the opposite, as the “love” hormone and can not only make us feel secure and good about ourselves but keep us healthy. We can’t change our beliefs, but others can. You can tell yourself a million times that you will be more confident but it doesn’t work. Then someone else says; “You look nice today” and we instantly have more self esteem. We all have the power to change the beliefs of others and give them health or make them stressed and sick. We can be at peace with our fellow man or at war; but war has a terrible price and that is often sickness.
You can say to yourself a 1,000 times. I have more confidence and more self esteem. Does it make any difference? Not at all! Someone says on the spur of the moment,”You look nice today”. Instant self-esteem boost. Other people change our beliefs. We can change their beliefs. so don’t always criticise others, they will criticise back and then you get into a destructive exchange of words that destroys self-esteem.
Changing the way you speak can actually make you money. It is true, you can have a mind set that just draw money to you. You tell other people that money is coming their way and this will be a lucky years and they should think positive. Buy that lottery ticket! This is the year you are going to win! It sounds good doesn’t it? That is because I’m changing what you believe, with the written word. If you paid me 10% of your future income I would make you as rich as I possibly could and it would work. I would make you a money magnet! It is possible! That is what psychology is about understanding that we can change the beliefs of others; give them more confidence, charisma, self esteem and the will to succeed. They have to want to succeed of course; some people appear to like being failures and hate anyone successful.
You also have to know what success is of course. It isn’t just about money, although money does help. It is about having people care for us and being well balanced and comfortable. We do tend to make better decisions when we are less stressed and shortage of money or bad relationships make us stressed and so do negative beliefs. if we live with someone who keeps putting us down, we lose confidence, it’s a normal reaction and it’s better to get out of such a relationship and let them destroy themselves if they want to. But why let them destroy you? They destroy your self-esteem, your health and your wealth. Why not go for relationships that increase self esteem, health and wealth? the same applies to your friends and family that you don’t live with. You can’t always cut of your family because they are negative, they may be depressed; but you have to recognise that and ignore the negative comments.
I often come across the term “toxic parents” to describe parents that constantly undermine their children’s confidence. We usually see our parents as always being right, even when they are wrong. They are role models and carry weight; and if they are out of balance they can make us the same. We often have to reject the ideas of our parents, rebel and seek our own way in life with diversity and freedom of thought and belief.
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Please check out this page where there are two videos that will tell you all about the Ring of Yellow heart Event running from 2010 to 2011 and a story is going around the world for children with cancer to add to. You can watch the story being read in the second video by a brilliant storyteller named Senni; please listen to it and give your support. These children just need you to be aware and to care, find the videos here.